I’m not good with rules. I’ve been trying to write a page of dialogue for my new work-in-progress, Lessons in Space, and I keep getting hung up.
Some of them are easy. Always put the words between quotation marks, unless the communication is telepathic, subvocalized or expressed in some other way, like light waves or odor. Try to show the speaker’s tone of voice in the tag. You could use an adverb to tell emotion, but it isn’t as strong. Make each character’s “voice” distinctive.
The one I always have trouble with is the injunction to place tags (identifiers) before or after the character has spoken rather than in the middle of the speech. For example:
Dilbert shouted, “That’s a piece of crap!”
“That’s a piece of crap.” Dilbert’s shoulders slumped.
These show, rather than tell, something about Dilbert’s character, and don’t interrupt the flow of his words.
A hard and fast rule, right? But let’s examine it. We all know that there are times when we pause as we speak, perhaps to emphasize a point or hunt for an exact word. Sometimes, we can indicate this in writing by using ellipses. For example:
“That’s. . . a piece of crap,” Dilbert announced.
But if we really want to emphasize a point, wouldn’t it be more dramatic to do it this way?
“That,” Dilbert announced, pointing at the painting, “is a piece of crap!”
Here, we reinforce that Dilbert is an arrogant, opinionated individual who is used to being listened to.
If used sparingly, breaking the speech with a tag can be quite successful. But it violates the rules.
Everyone needs rules, writers of fiction included. We have to check our spelling, and obey most of the rules of punctuation and grammar. Without these guidelines, we can’t communicate effectively, and our readers would throw down our books in disgust.
However, as fiction writers, we are accustomed to weaving words to create a mood or define a character, as deftly and succinctly as possible. We might use an otherwise unacceptable spelling of a word to indicate an accent. A lizardman from Omicron VI would need extra esses to illustrate his hiss, and a Klingon growls his rrrrs.
Maybe insert a sentence fragment. We could even string letters together to show an alien language, make up futuristic slang, devise unique ways of indicating non-verbal communications like snorts or sniffs.
I believe that if we allow ourselves to slavishly follow the rules, we will limit ourselves too much. We have to allow ourselves some freedom. Perhaps, sometimes, the laws of good writing lead to the loss of good writing.
I know others will disagree, and I welcome comments.
Use of commonly accepted grammar and spelling optional.